So what is this v-groove plank panelling you speak of?

A long, long, time ago, when my brain cells were still firing and I was unaware of the fact that I could humanly lift a 237 lb. washing machine with my partner in crime, I had a mad idea that wherever you entered this house, there should be panelled walls. I think it came to me late at night, when you're laying in bed and these sort of ideas sound (and look) so great in your mind.

Not to make it sound like I'm doing this all on my own here...Trevor is master carpenter/plumber/tiler/minor electrician extraordinaire. I just seem to come up with all of the labour-intensive ideas -- like plank panelling.

To put the planks up, you have to have your ducks in a row (no, not the ones outside splashing about in the pond -- although I do have thoughts on how I can attach little harnesses to them and have them walk planks into the house). You need to think ahead with things like, do my ceiling joists run the right direction? 'Cause if they don't, you have to put supports in between each and every joist. Is there plumbing/venting/electrical behind this that I might puncture with my air nailer? If the answer is yes, you need to avoid those land mines. How are you going to cut the holes for light fixtures/switches/plugs? Get yourself to the hardware store (or the internets) and buy yourself a Fein, it will become your best friend. (Ask Trevor, he sleeps with his.) And beyond all of those, possibly the most important question -- where in the heck are you going to store all of these 16 ft. long planks? My answer: buy yourself a fugly shipping container (or three).

Once you have all of your bases covered, mentally prepare yourself for endless nailing, cutting and carrying of these planks. And then grab yourself a few gallons of Benjamin Moore's Oxford White paint, and trim the v-groove joints first, then roll until you can't roll anymore.

Then, and only then, stand back and admire all of the amazing plank-y-ness you've got going on.

Oh, and for anyone who goes out and buys the pine planks that aren't pre-primed -- don't ever invite me over to help you paint.